Gender Identity Development in Children

 

I'd always wondered at what point in our lives we genuinely recognize gender identity. Are we born knowing, or do we have to be old and wise? At birth, we are assigned a sex based on the genitalia we are born with. Male or female, vagina or penis. Sex is solely based on physical appearance. Gender identity, on the other hand, is the internal sense of who we genuinely feel we are. That can be Male, female, both, or no gender at all. Identity develops over time; most kids' identities can align alongside their sex, though it is not so clear for some.

Lawrence Kohlberg's cognitive developmental theory explains how a kid's gender identity develops in three stages during ages 2-6. This article does not express Kohlberg's approach, but it presents more or less his theory. By 30 months or the age of two, kids can identify and categorize themselves as a boy or a girl but do not know that gender/their sex is permanent. In the second stage, between 3-4, not only can they now identify gender and label themselves, but they know it is permanent. It is also known as gender stability. Between 4-6, kids have a stable sense of gender identity.

Most importantly, children, over time, will become more conscious of their gender identity and who they are. Children are expressive with their identity and will dress, imitate, and socialize as they feel comfortable, whether feminine or masculine, in the groups they become a part of and their mannerisms. Kohlberg, though, did not address transgender or nonbinary children within his theory, but today we know if that is who someone is, and if they are starting to express this at a young age, they should be accepted, supported, and loved just as much as any "regular" boy or girl. Gender development is a natural development. It is important to be who you are and for individuals to be accepting. Ultimately, we are creating happy, healthy adults for the future. 

Article Link: 

Gender Identity Development in Children - HealthyChildren.org